I cried myself to sleep last night, I barely slept, and I had the most vivid and disturbing dream. I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. It’s been hours now since I was dreaming and the memories of the dream are fading.
I only get brief imagery of it. From what I can remember, I’m helping someone. I think it was a sister and a brother, there was Travis Scott in there, there was other characters involved too. It was a dark, cold place. I was alone and I was scared, but what helped me feel better was helping someone else that was sad. I didn’t know how to help myself, I helped her reunite with her brother, we all cried together, I felt happy and lonely that it happened. I didn’t know how to accept their thank-you’s. Travis Scott came on the dinner table and started stomping around it. The dinner table was a just a double sided picnic bench, the table settings were nonexistent. No one was eating, we were just sitting there and just enjoyed seeing the reunion occur. Her brother changed a lot since she last met him, the girl resembled a combination of two girls in my life that I know. Both beautiful girls perfectly mixed, with amazing bodies. One of them barely eats because of her anxiety, and honestly I’ve been feeling the same way as her lately. I’d love to just starve myself to death. I woke up feeling numb and alone. I started looking through instagram and came across this page of this “perfect” family. Trophy wife, with a beautiful body who created two beautiful children and still had an amazing body afterwards. A husband who never stops appreciating his wife, but obviously it’s easy for him to feel that way about her since she’s so physically attractive. I know I’m not going to get anything like that, because I’m not even close. I’d love to get there though, but I’m just not there yet. Hopefully I won’t have to rely on someone else to make me feel good, and I can just feel good about myself on my own. The dream made me feel extremely sad, but since the day has gone along, I’ve found a few lights along the way. My dentist appointment went well, as always. That always cheers me up. Let’s hope the day keeps getting better. I really don’t know how to feel prior to the tears I cried last night, but it definitely doesn’t make me feel good.