To be with you requires me to love myself.
I can’t have any doubts, I can’t have any insecurities.
To be with you, I have to be completely sure of who I am.
Because if I’m not, you will crush me.
You will hurt me.
You will throw me in the dirt and make me feel like nothing, without even knowing.
And I will find myself crying alone in the night wondering how to please you.
When it’s not about you, I need to please myself.
I want to make you happy by making me happy.
I don’t know how to make it happen without taking everything you say with a grain of salt.
I put your opinion on a pedestal, it’s so high that when I try to reach up to it I can’t find myself anymore.
I watch myself try to transform myself to who you want me to be.
Not knowing if I truly am who I really am anymore.
And when you leave me to pick up the pieces because I wasn’t enough for you,
I’ll watch myself wonder who I am at all.
I go back to ground zero. I don’t know who I am without you.
I was so busy trying to be who you wanted me to be,
That I never took the time to be who I wanted me to be.
To be with you, will tear me apart.
But to be with you, will help me – find me.
Despite your perceptions of me, I will surpass them.
I will be myself, because when you leave, I will be all I have.
I will be everything for myself that I wanted you to give me.
To be with you, will be a journey for me.