Poetry

To be with you 

To be with you requires me to love myself. 

I can’t have any doubts, I can’t have any insecurities. 

To be with you, I have to be completely sure of who I am. 

Because if I’m not, you will crush me. 

You will hurt me.

You will throw me in the dirt and make me feel like nothing, without even knowing. 

And I will find myself crying alone in the night wondering how to please you. 

When it’s not about you, I need to please myself. 

I want to make you happy by making me happy.

I don’t know how to make it happen without taking everything you say with a grain of salt. 

I put your opinion on a pedestal, it’s so high that when I try to reach up to it I can’t find myself anymore. 

I watch myself try to transform myself to who you want me to be. 

Not knowing if I truly am who I really am anymore. 

And when you leave me to pick up the pieces because I wasn’t enough for you,

I’ll watch myself wonder who I am at all. 

I go back to ground zero. I don’t know who I am without you. 

I was so busy trying to be who you wanted me to be, 

That I never took the time to be who I wanted me to be.

To be with you, will tear me apart. 

But to be with you, will help me – find me. 

Despite your perceptions of me, I will surpass them. 

I will be myself, because when you leave, I will be all I have. 

I will be everything for myself that I wanted you to give me.

To be with you, will be a journey for me.

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